


What You Taught Me

by missmamamoo



Category: Gotham - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Me coping with the lack of episode this week and that selina is copying her beau's coping mechanisms, Spoilers for Season 5, The last episode didn't settle well with me, We needed a talk between these characters where they don't end up hating each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 07:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17700416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmamamoo/pseuds/missmamamoo
Summary: Selina Kyle has lost faith in herself. She feels something gnawing at the base of her consciousness that she can't control. She realized one night, that it can't control her if she drinks. So she simply drinks her self silly.





	What You Taught Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I had unresolved feelings again and I just kept editing this since last week and You know what? I got tired of editing so here I go! unbeta'd. So sorry if it's a mess. Let me know if there is something I didn't catch or if a sentence is just plain weird lol.

Selina stumbled into her new apartment, still feeling bile at the back of her throat from her last trip to the bathroom. She was beyond wasted; she drank until every part of her being felt numb. Selina thought everything was great until she stood up and the room took a few spins. After a trip to the club's bathroom and being plucked off the floor by Barbara, she was sent straight to her assigned apartment. Selina closed the door behind her, shaking the urge to simply sink into the floor. She flicked on her lights and groaned at the intruder standing in her living room.  
  
“What do you want from me, Bruce?” she slurred, grabbing onto a coffee table for balance. “Haven’t you had enough?”  
  
“It took me a few days,” said Bruce, tucking his hands in his pockets. “But I did some thinking.”  
  
Selina sank into her couch, hugging the cushions cool leather surface, “Honestly, I’m not sober enough to think with you,” came the muffled reply. “If you could please come back another day, I might find a way to make you leave me alone.”  
  
Bruce crossed his arms. “Selina.”  
  
“Selina isn’t here right now,” she hiccuped. “But please leave a message after the tone.”  
  
“Selina Kyle,” he said gruffly.  
  
“The mailbox is full. Bye bye,” she waved, grinning at her own joke.  
   
He grabbed her wrist, pulling her up from the sofa. Her body protested the sudden movement and she felt her stomach shift gears. She grabbed the nearest bowl-shaped object and hurled.  
  
Bruce yelp in disgust.  
  
“Oh god,” she rasped. She looked down and realized she had hurled in a helmet. Even in her drunken state, she knew it didn’t belong to her. Selina looked around half expecting Bruce to simply run out the window but he was at her side with supplies. He took the helmet out of her hands and pressed a cool wet towel to her face.  
  
“We’re not the same, huh?” she heard him scoff. “Why do I have a distant memory of you doing this for me a few months back?”  
  
“You’re delusional,” she croaked, blessing the gods for inventing cool towels. It sure beat the toilet bowl at the club. Leather couch cushion felt cooler, but it failed at wiping makeup and vomit.  
  
Bruce laughed. “What are you talking about?”  
  
“Did I say that out loud?” Selina mumbled, rubbing off her eye make up.  
  
He grabbed her elbows steering her to the bathroom, “Come on, let’s clean you up.”  
  
“I can do it by myself,” she spat, shoving his hands off. And to make her point she through the cool towel on the floor for good measure.  
  
Bruce’s lips twitched. “Alright, but if you take too long I’m throwing the door down.”  
  
 After a few minutes of damage control, she stepped out just in time to see Bruce cleaning up the living room.  
  
“This isn’t going to change anything,” said Selina indignantly.  
  
“Alfred said that Jeremiah deserved to die,” said Bruce gently, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the living room.  
  
“And here I thought Jeeves and I had nothing in common.”  
  
He snorted, handing her a warm mug of coffee. She didn’t know where he got it from because last she checked, she didn’t own any.  
  
“I disagree, you both have little faith in your ability to care for others.”  
  
She took a swig and felt the warm liquid travel to her toes. “Because I don’t,” she hummed.  
  
He sighed and sat down next to her. She had a snide remark ready to aim at him but it died at the tip of her tongue when he looked up at her with disappointment.  
  
He folded his hands in his lap. “I don’t know who you’re trying to trick.”  
  
“Nobody,” she snorted. “What would I gain from it?”  
  
“It’s easier to convince yourself that you don’t care about what happened.” He began to twiddle his thumbs. “It’s a harder pill to swallow when you realize you do care and that you feel guilty.”  
  
“Alfred knew the fucker deserved to die,” she spat back.  
  
“That doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilty. Ra’s caused the destruction of Gotham. Yet, there isn’t a night that goes by where I wake up to the feeling of slick warm blood on my hands,” he said looking up at her.  
  
He watches her face pinched. Bruce shrugged. “I didn’t know how to cope. So I dove head first into alcohol, partying, and pretending I didn’t care. I cut out anybody or anything that came in the way of my coping mechanisms. Including the man who has been like a father to me; I didn’t even want to associate with you.”  
  
“That doesn’t change - “  
  
“What happened with my parents? Let’s see.” He fished a file from his bag. “You have an extensive criminal record for someone your age. You had been in and out of several juvenile detention centers by the time we met.”  
  
Her color drained. “Give me that.” She swiped to grab the folder but Bruce was faster.  
  
“But you know what surprised me?” he murmured, thumbing through the file. “You weren’t known to talk. Until you did. Starting with my parents. You were there the night they were murdered. There is evidence that placed you there. You told them what you knew, which was about the same as I did. But at the end of the day, you did something.”  
  
“I lied to the police about seeing his face,” she snarled.  
  
His eyes narrowed. “You got me a gun to face my parents’ killer.”  
  
“I knew you wouldn’t pull the trigger,” she countered.  
  
“Because you know I’m not ruthless and could never live with the guilt of hurting someone. Which is why you pushed Reggie out of a window,” Bruce held up his index finger cutting Selina off. “I had the intent, you pulled through for both of our sakes.”  
  
Selina let out a shaky breath but steeled her facial expression. He wasn’t going to win this fight. She just needed to sober up so she could properly kick him out of her apartment.  
  
“You’re lying to yourself, Selina. You care as much as I do. Otherwise, I couldn’t have been able to manipulate you with Bridget.”  
  
Her head snapped towards him. Selina could feel a warmth spreading across her face as her vision began to blur.  
  
“You mourned Ivy,” he said softly. “You still mourn the loss of your friendship; you proved it the day you ate the seed. You care deeply, Selina. And no matter what you say. No matter how much you feel like you need to lash out, I will still be here for you.”  
  
He reached out to wipe rogue tears from her eyes.  
  
“Plus, you did a terrible job defending your argument about how little you care by crying.”  
  
She pushed his hands away. And he took that opportunity to interlace their fingers. He pulled it close and kissed the back of her hand.    
  
“I know who you are. I know you’ve gone through so much this past couple of months. I’m not giving up on you or leaving you. If you’re leaving my side it’s because you want to. You are free to come to me whenever.”  
  
The dam broke and she felt a sob escape her. His warmth enveloped her instantly. “I'm not who you think,” she said through breathes. “Bruce, something happened.”  
  
She felt him run his fingers through her hair. “Bruce, I keep losing it.”  
  
"It's ok."  
  
She pushed him away. "No, it's not okay. I have to get some control back and if I can't," she pointed the glass bottles in her cabinets, "that is my only solution."  
  
“I think it’s a side effect of Ivy’s seed,” said Bruce, frowning. "Maybe there are options we haven't looked into yet."  
  
Selina froze as her mind ran through her possibilities of silencing the primal being that begged for chaos. Ivy would probably let her die, or worse, leave her in that clinic to rot. "What will I do?" she whispered.  
  
Bruce gently cupped her face.“ _We_ , handle it together. One step at a time.”  
  
She wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking her head in the crook of his neck. “I’m probably gonna forget about this tomorrow,” she murmured.  
  
Bruce chuckled, “I’m sure you’ll blame it on the alcohol like I did all those months back.”  
  
Selina gave him a coy smile. “I can’t believe you remember that! You were plastered.”  
  
“I know, but in all fairness so are you right now.” He winked at her. “You scratch my back, I scratch yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's rushed and OOC, especially at the end, but let me be. That episode was rough and Cam is killing it right now. I hope she pursues acting because the girl is gifted at making my heartbreak.


End file.
